Novelty: Overcoming the Fear and Pain in Writing
I hesitate to start writing because I can't seem to find the time for it. My resistance stems from a reluctance to face an uncomfortable truth, which becomes apparent every time I try to write.
I hesitate to start writing because I can't seem to find the time for it. My resistance stems from a reluctance to face an uncomfortable truth, which becomes apparent every time I try to write. This truth brings pain, and I know it will hurt each time. My fear of beginning is tied to not knowing how much pain I can endure in my lifetime. I don't want to squander these painful moments on fruitless writing attempts. I avoid starting because I don't want to expose myself to love and, consequently, to potential hurt. Yet, I understand that in doing so, I also close off the possibility of experiencing love.
This vicious cycle is familiar to anyone who has tried to write. It effectively destroys any chance of action and thoroughly crushes hope. The irony is that we all know the solution to break free from these mental traps. It involves embracing and welcoming mistakes, misfires, and, most dauntingly, the idea of wasting time.
It's time to prepare for writing. I engage in a kind of mental gymnastics, constantly seeking a new, fresh approach every day. The essence of my method is the pursuit of 'novelty' – finding a new tool daily. This search for novelty is crucial because my fear, in its basic form, resembles a clever, cunning animal. It plans meticulously, foreseeing the future, akin to an expert salesperson selling the unnecessary. This hurt animal emerges, pretending to be a helpful uncle, leading me into a maze of distractions and avoidance. Resisting it brings a heavy sense of guilt.
Novelty – the charm of the unexplored – counters this creature of pain, which tempts with enticing offers of procrastination. It loses its power if it's unaware of the method I choose each day.
This tactic is particularly effective in writing as it requires creativity. Interestingly, you don't need to be in a specific mood, whether cheerful or creative, to incorporate novelty. It's always possible. I start by being playful, like a child. Although not religious, I appreciate the theme in various religious texts that only the childlike can enter paradise.
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